I believe there's a kid that lives inside everyone. A kid shaped by their environment, the way they were treated, talked to, cared for. That becomes their default image. No matter how much their life changes, how many storms they pass through, that is how they see themselves.
You cannot erase that child. Whether that's a good thing depends entirely on which child you got.
For some, it's beautiful. They were given the affection they needed during their critical years. They grow up carrying that image of themselves: happy, carefree, without a second thought.
Now let's come to the ones who didn't have it.
Constantly criticized. Constantly made to feel bad about themselves. Constantly neglected.
What does the kid inside them do?
They become exactly what they're told.
You're not worthy of love. I'm not worthy of love. You're forgettable. I'm forgettable. You're not wanted. I'm not wanted.
They grow up too, like any other human. Carrying that child inside them, along with the words they heard and believed to their core.
And they grow to be...
Wait. Did you think I'd talk about the meek, quiet ones? The ones who never learned to raise their voices against anything that tries to oppress them?
Well, they exist too. I'm not ignoring them.
But we'll keep them aside for today.
Let's talk about the ones who grow up to be dangerously confident. Who don't seem to care even if the grim reaper appears in front of them. Who'll carry an entire debate with him, too, and with unbelievable ease.
Sometimes people look at them and think: where does all that confidence come from?
People admire them. People want to be like them. Compliments are not new to them.
These people are magnetic as hell. There's something that draws others toward them, something they can't quite pinpoint. But it's addictive. So addictive they can't stop. So the kid is healed, right? It's getting everything it wanted. Praise. Affection. Attention it deserved.
You think confidence cured them?
Wrong.
It just learned to wear a different face.
Here's a little thing about confidence. People see it as a magical drug, something that miraculously cures every negative thought, every criticism you believe to be true about yourself. You achieve it and voila, insecurity isn't part of your life anymore.
As if you haven't carried these thoughts, these voices, these tears for ages. As if it's that easy to undo years of psychological pain.
And external validation is of no help. Sure, it can momentarily lift one's spirit. It can even make someone's day a little better.
Key words: Momentarily. Day.
That kid? It still feels the same.
