Decaf
On Love and Uncertainty
Do you know what’s going on in their heads? Did you ever? Could you? Even if you go ask your lover, “WHAT IS GOING ON?”, one, they might not tell you the truth; two, they might not even know the truth; three, even if they tell you the truth, you might either not believe it or misinterpret it and thereby be convinced by a lie despite being told the truth, etc., etc., etc. This uncertainty has been killing me! I’m sure it often kills you too. But it shouldn’t because uncertainty is inevitable, isn’t it? It’s as inevitable as death. Does death kill you as often as uncertainty does? You must have, while taking a sip of your decaf coffee, made this casual statement, “We’re all gonna die.” The casual tone covertly says, “And that’s okay.” You don’t worry about death as it is too obvious to worry about. The same goes for uncertainty too. Accept that you will never know what’s going on in his/her head.
But did a modicum of truth, like a cow tranquilizer, ever put lovers to sleep? Lovers, who choose to love, must choose to believe a truth that reconciles love and sleep.
However, it must be harder for those, who see more than others, to pretend to believe a truth so they can love. Yet, they should continue to see as closely and deeply as they do now. They shouldn’t choose not to see in order to create room for love. After all, to get rid of nightmares, would you take a pill that would not let you dream at all? Therefore, we must find a way to reconcile love and skepticism. Let’s not try to blur our view, nor should we shut out love or kick it out when it’s already in and be condemned to loneliness for the rest of our lives. We must see and yet choose to believe one of those truths that allows love in.
So, let’s take another sip of our decaf coffee. Let’s accept that we will never be able to bridge the gap between the persons we love and the persons we know, and THAT’S OKAY. Let’s accept uncertainty as we so casually accept death because the other option is PARALYZING! Wouldn’t it be paralyzing to see death as an any-time-now, like someone awaiting death underground, hearing its paces?
