Have you ever felt like you are not being noticed? Have you ever imagined being an average girl in school and college? This is not a story but something I want to share.
Life is actually not so perfect and I am not perfect either. Not every story is based on imagination, sometimes it's about real life. So it is my imperfect story. I never felt I am good at anything. And I am not. When I was a kid, I was really bad at studying and the students never talked to me and of course being bullied by them was common. Like I said, I am not good at anything or good at looks. Everyday going to school felt like going to hell. I always had to hear the names like “Rabbit Rabbit” but never talked back to them because I actually looked like a rabbit for my ugly teeth. It was true but it still hurt so much. I never had friends. I was the invisible one. I wished I was good at one thing but no I am not. My childhood is something I don't want back. When I was in KG1 I suffered from jaundice so even though I was sick I studied for my final exam.
But of course for me everything had to be the worst. My form teacher didn't agree to make me sit for my final exam because I was a bad student and absent in my class because of my sickness. This never hurts me, what hurts me the most was my mom requesting my form teacher just so I could give the exam. She didn't agree. So I had to repeat KG1 again. After passing my KG1 my mom changed my school. I was admitted in class 3 at my new school. My class 3 was not bad but happiness is not forever. I had to suffer a lot from class 4 to class 8. I did not have any friends so being alone was really something that hurt me. Everyday going to class, coming back home with sadness in my heart. My parents never actually knew the ache. In my class 4 even though I was a bad student I improved a lot with the help of my English teacher. And ‘friends’?
I wanted friends so bad that I had to give them gifts to be my friend. I know at the end they were just for the gifts. Aah life is so unfair right.
Every class was a pain. Once I gave a girl a hair clip she accepted my gift but gave it to another girl. Even if I was hurt I never showed. It made me realize that “people who don't appreciate it don't deserve it”. I just wanted to be someone who's actually good at something. I wanted to make my mom smile for me. As I was bad at maths I had to go to “Aloha” to improve my maths skills. But there was a girl who was my mom's friend’s daughter, she was so good at doing calculations so my mom bragged about how good she was. I got jealous so I had to cheat in solving my workbook. But I got caught. My mom scolded me. She never asked me why I did it. She just saw from her eyes but not from her heart. I just wanted to make her feel proud of me even in the wrong way because I didn't have the brain. I just realized that “pain will make a person stronger”.
Darkness will go away, light is on the way is what I wished from God. Seeing the first girl's name on the board was something I wished for. I wish I was someone whose name was on first, second, third. Wish people actually clapped for me. But wish is something that'll probably never be fulfilled. Among everyone I had one person who loved me for me, my grandma. Losing my grandma in class 8 really changed me. My grandma was really close to me and she was my best friend. Her absence broke something inside me. From class 9 I started improving. Now after all the hardships I am now a university final year student. The road was broken but I fixed my way. Now I have actual friends. Pain does make people stronger but it'll keep the scar. And my scar was childhood. Invisible is not a bad word. Sometimes being invisible can make a person wait for better friends.
Life is not a rainbow it will give cold and warm days. Fun fact, I am still the average one. Trying means unlocking a new door for your future so giving up is not an option.
Everyone is fighting a battle, all we can do is be kind and considerate. “Being the invisible one is what makes one shine among millions.”
