The idea isn’t that ambition is bad, it is that we are treating ordinary life like failed life.
Somewhere along the way, being ordinary became something to fear. It is not longer enough to enjoy a hobby; we must master it. It is not longer enough to have dreams- we must have a plan. Even resting acquires a purpose- we must recover so we can work harder tomorrow. We are told to dream big, work harder and stand out. Rarely we are asked what happens when the pursuit of becoming extraordinary leaves us unable to appreciate the person we already are. Perhaps the most exhausting part of growing up is not the pressure to work harder to succeed, but the thought of being seen as a failure if anything less exceptional. It is never ending; it is never enough.
We don’t just want to do well anymore, we want to be someone. We see skilled entrepreneurs, talented artists, luxurious lifestyles, extraordinary athletes, and many remarkable achievements displayed online.
“Perhaps the cruelest thing about time is that it lets you dream about becoming everything while quietly reminding you that you cannot become it all.”
The peculiar contradiction of pursuing an extraordinary life is how the ordinary moments become a waste of space. A quiet afternoon becomes wasted time. A hobby we haven’t mastered becomes a pursuit without a value. Small achievements become embarrassing when the next person has achieved more. We spend so much time shaping ourselves into the idealized people we hope to become, we forget to appreciate the current version of ourselves and treat it like a temporary, unfinished project. Once we achieve something big, the bar rises again, trends have changed, and there is always something bigger to achieve. The finish line is always moving, and we condemn ourselves for never being finished. We are labeling ourselves, “A failure.”
Here is an interesting question- “Are we ambitious about something because we genuinely want it, or because we have seen other people have it?”
As a 14-year-old girl, it is necessary I do good in my academics, I have always been a top student. I am a young individual full of potential and full of privileges. It is necessary for me to excel in extracurriculars like sports, art, music, debating, and more stuff I already participate in, besides academics. I am presented with privileges like going to one of the most prestigious English medium schools in Dhaka. If there is anyone, it should be me who gets to go to a top Ivy League university in 5 years with a scholarship and then earn a six figure income through my perfectly stable career in the next 12 years. Who can guarantee I will achieve any of these things?
With all the potential and privileges, I have, with all the expectations from my relatives and my family, it is my duty to make everyone proud and be the extraordinary being in the family. Although it is my dream to excel anyways and be rich and live a financially secure life, it still sucks if I achieved anything less than this and went to a small university in Hong Kong or Malaysia, I would be seen as a “failure.” “What is the point of putting your daughter in such expensive private schools if she can’t even make it past the Asian subcontinent.”
“If she’s only going to go to Hong Kong and Malaysia, just tell her to study in Bangladesh, no?”
The universities elsewhere in Asia, outside our country are excellent. The ones inside our country are exceptional too but what is the point of studying international curriculum to end up right here? Going to somewhere in Hong Kong takes exceptional amount of hard work like any Ivy League but it is never seen with as much respect as any Ivy League.We have created an unofficial hierarchy of achievement in which, a university’s name can matter more than the education it provides. An Ivy League acceptance becomes evidence of brilliance; an equally demanding achievement elsewhere becomes something that requires explanation. The difference isn’t the quality of the education, but the prestige attached to the name.
With so much pressure of being extraordinary and to avoid being a failure, where is the time to live? I am a 14-year-old, I should be hanging out with my friends, watching tv shows, going around the neighborhood with my bicycle if safety isn’t an issue. What am I doing mapping out my entire future career and planning my next 15 years of life? What happened to when we played sports for fun, not for medals, did art for mental satisfaction, not the prestigious art school certificates and played some musical instruments as a rich hobby, and not for an ABRSM certification signed by the queen of England? Do these expensive certificates and my good academics determine how much I am truly worth? If I spend a quiet afternoon enjoying the nature and watching the sunset with a cup of coffee, would I be a failure wasting my potential and time?
Perhaps the real failure isn’t living an ordinary life, but spending so much of it trying to escape one. We have become so busy with the people we might become we forget that we have forgotten the people we already are, deserving a life beyond our achievements. There must be more to being alive than preparing to become someone worth admiring.
